Monday, January 15, 2007

Talk Like Jack Bauer Day

Today was Talk Like Jack Bauer Day and I may have taken it a bit too far.

7:00:01 I awake up as the wife is trying to leave for work. Damn it The Wife! We are running out of time!

7:01:13 Take a shower and then stab the shower curtain because I know it is not telling me the truth.

7:15:04 The Wife leaves for her job. The Wife you will kiss me now and send me the files to my PDA. She shakes her head and leaves. I need the files now!

8:15:05 I grab my "man bag" and leave the house from the back window and I climb over the house to get to the car. I see two terrorist waiting for me out the front door.

8:45:07 I finally make it over my house and my neighbor see me. "Is everything alright." Get down! Fried Chicken Drive is not safe! I shoot one of the terrorist.

8:49:01 Even though it is a 25 minute drive to JDOG-17, but it only takes Jack Bauer three minutes to get anywhere, so it took me four minutes, because I'm still learning my inner Jack Bauer.

8:55:46 I burst into JDOG-17 and go to the desk. Chloe where is my assignment. "Who are you talking to?" Damn it Chloe I need my assignment now we don't have time! "My name is Monica." I then stab her for with holding information. I finally get what I need.

9:25:00 My reporter and I finally leave for our story. I'm not doing well because it takes me 5 minutes to get to Durham.

9:25:45 We enter the building and start out interview. The reporter is taking too long. We don't have time! I jump over the table What does Martin Luther King Day mean to you.. Answer me!

9:27:15 The police are called so I shot the receptionist and we head to the car.

9:55:00 I call the desk, Chloe I need the schematics for every building in Durham sent to my PDA right now. "Do you have a PDA?" Damn it Chloe send it now, we don't have time!

11:48:36 We eat lunch I stab my ham sandwich because it has sold secrets to the terrorist out side my door. It is a delicious sandwich though.

12:15:07 We have to try and interview the DA that is in charge of the Duke Lacrosse trial. I call the Desk. Chloe "It's Monica and I'm tired of Jack Bauer day." Shut it! Where does he live?

12:18:58 I get better at the three minute drive and we get to his house.

12:20:37 The reporter and I are still arguing over our tactic to get him to talk. I put him in a sleeper hold Don't fight it! Don't fight it!

12:21:13 I sneak around back and find an open door. I punch him in the face and tie up him and his wife.

12:45:03 Why won't you answer me! "Please stop." I don't have time for this! Tell me the new developments in the Duke case! "I've been pulled off the case." I don't believe you!

1:37:56 I finally get all that I need I see more terrorist out front. I tuck and roll out the front door and shoot them all.

1:41:25 My reporter finally wakes up and explain what we have.

1:42:27 We get back to the station. He goes through the door and I take the ventilation shaft on the roof.

3:25:05 After I am removed from the shaft by some construction workers I shoot them for being members of a secret Russian spy ring trying to gas the station. I mean why else are they on the roof near the ventilation shaft.

4:21:33 I go to the reporter Where is my story! "I'm almost done." I don't have time for this. So I stab him in his leg. "here it is done." That's what I'm talking about.

5:45:07 I finish my story and look out the window and see a large terrorist attacking the building. I go out and blow them up.

6:03:07 I almost got the drive down within 3 minutes

6:03:22 I remember there is a terrorist still on Fried Chicken Drive and I shoot him.

6:35:04 Damn it The Wife I need dinner and we don't have time. "It's your night to cook." Oh yeah, what do you want? Surprise me. So I stab her.

7:35:01 I finish making dinner and we eat

7:58:53 We sit down and watch two episodes of 24.

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