Ok this is a post I'm trying to burry a little bit. I want to write about it for carthartic reasons. I am leaving for Raliegh and generally in the TV buisness if you are liked by your co-workers you are given a party. I had one in Toledo and a halloween party in West Virginia was inpart a going a way party. So with that said I'm down to my last two days and nothing is planned. Their is a gathering this week for another co-worker. He is leaving the station to move to Cleveland, he has been at The Network since the beginning and everyone loves him.
This got me thinking. "Do people really like me?" I've always had a mental problem with people. I always feel like I'm a bother and that people don't want me around. I never call people any more because I'm afraid to bother them and they might be busy. I just don't know if what I am thinking is true or is it my neurosis gone a muck. I have been very unhappy with work and regretfully I have a tendency to have my emotions on my sleeve.
I know right after I got married a production guy got married and there was a collection for a gift for he and his bride. I truthfully was a little hurt by that, and that started this little thought. "why is that guy getting a station gift. I don't want a gift, but it would have been nice though." I'm hoping I'm just over thinking this, and it's just because another great guy is leaving so I kind of got left on that back burner. I'd rather have that than for people to be happy I am gone.
I hope that if people at work happen to read this that I am not asking for a party now, it's just questioning how I will be remembered. I hope this does not make me sound petty and with a case of Sour Grapes.