Tuesday, December 25, 2007

The Nativity They Don't Want You to Know

Many years ago there was a gnome who was passing though a strange land. While settling in for a long nights sleep, there was a commotion a bright light came out of no where and a loud voice. "Shepards, do not be afraid." exclaimed a voice. "I come in peace."

"Excuse me," said the gnome "I'm not a Shepard."

"What?" said the voice as the light dimmed to reveal an angel. "You're not the Shepards in the field outside Bethlehem?"
"No, I am just a gnome, I think you are looking for those guys two fields over."

The angel sits down with a look of disgust and pulls out a map. "Where did I go wrong? I turned left at Babylon and then a right at Mesopotamia, did I make a wrong turn at Albuquerque?"

"Let me see that." said the gnome. "You came over Rome and didn't veer right, you kept on straight and missed those Shepard guys be a few miles."

"Thanks gnome, my name is Gabriel and I'm suppose to tell these Shepard guys about this big thing... Hey you wanna come?"

The gnome was a little skeptical, how did he know this was a real angel, I mean it had wings and a bright light around it, you just never know. "I don't know I had this cousin that followed a wizard, four hobbits and two humans and he nearly got himself killed at least a dozen times. How do I know this isn't going to be one of those kinds of travels."

"Don't worry," chuckled Gabriel, "it's not one of those kinds of quest. I don't get those cool assignments, we have a different guy for that, I just tell good stuff. I'm actually not for sure what's going on, something about a savior or something... I wasn't listening to what God was saying, my son this, his name is Jesus that, going to save the world... you know how it goes."

The gnome was overwhelmed and decided to go along and see what all the fuss was. After getting directions and looking at the map the gnome showed Gabriel where to find the shepards and found out he needed to go to Bethlehem. He also had a star to guide his way. As he walked towards the small town he saw some camels off to the left and they seemed to be heading his way.

As they approached he saw that there were three camels with three well dressed men. "Hey guys, where you heading." asked the gnome.

"We are following the star to find the one who shall save the Earth."

"Oh you mean that Jesus fellow" states the gnome

A look of shock over came the three men, "How do you know of the savior?"

The gnome told the men about his visit from Gabriel. The men were astounded by the story, they now know the star they follow leads them to the Messiah. "Little gnome, do you wish to join us to see the child?" Since he is going that way he though he could use a break from walking and hoped a ride.

They arrived in the town of Bethlehem and found a stable where the young savior was laying in a manger. The three men entered and the gnome followed behind, the three men gave gifts and the gnome was standing there with nothing to give, he looked around and finally found a buckeye in his pocket and presented it to the child.

A bright light came from the manger and baby Jesus arose in his golden diaper. "Thank you gnome, even though these wise men have brought me expensive gifts, you gave me the only thing you owned. A nut from a tree." All were amazed as the baby Jesus hovered over everyone. "Since you enjoy wondering the world, you shall never worry about money again, I shall provide what you need."
The gnome was shocked this was the greatest gift he has ever received, he can go places that he has dreamed about.

"From now one gnome," Jesus states "when you travel, think of me and tell people what you have seen. Go forth and travel, I must not take care of Santa and his evil reindeer." With that Jesus shot out of the top of the stable to fight Santa for Christmas superiority.


Murf said...

Well, I didn't know you had a blog, Thanks for the info. I read through the lastest entries and I have a few comments. First, about reading the books? Bro. I'm a reading teacher. 10 books in a year? Your youngest neice has read 10 in the last two weeks. The more you read the more you like it.
Second, if OSU loses again. I will quit being a fan. Two years in a row of non-stop harassment will do me in. It's bad enough that they are playing an SEC team once again. Come On OSU, get it together. I'd like to be able to wear my Ohio shirts out of the house. I already have enough sleep shirts.
Third, come to Florida and you can see the beautiful sky 12 months a year. A cold front is when it hits 65. Gnomes love it there.

Sorry we didn't get to see you. I now have your blog web address and will enjoy reading it from now on.

J Dog said...

I know you are going crazy for all the typos and errors, but eh. I hope OSU doesn't lose, I'm tired or the radio hacks talking about the SEC. With Florida you have the 90 degree days with a billion percent humidity... not a fan of the humidity. We will try and get down to Florida and see you guys. With Sammy's graduation and then what ever Steve may or may not do and then the 50th celebration in Tennessee and the days I'm taking off for the bowl games I'm down to a couple of days. We might try a weekend. Might be nice in September or October.

Finally with the reading... I'm just so freaking slow. Last night I was reading and I thought I made a huge dent... I read only 15 pages.