Sunday, May 27, 2007

Live Window Over Terra Haute

One of the biggest events that I miss not being at The Network is the Indy 500. We would go for a couple of days and do stories around the teams and drivers that had an Ohio connection. Even though I did not get to visit the track this year, I am still very hyped up about the 500. For some strange reason my southeastern Ohio family always watched the race. If it was a rain out on Sunday we would watch it on Monday after the Ironton parade. It's something we have always done. So I'm going to attempt to Live blog the race and some of the pre-race.

12:03 I get home from church, turn on the TV... Is that Jeremy Irons voicing the intro?

12:04 There Oh No there is rain at Indy, but looking at the weather radar there is a window over Terra Haute. There is an inside joke with M T my former sports director (and good friend) that every year there is weather problems they mention Terra Haute. If the weather over Terra Haute is good that means it's on its way to Indy so the saying goes. There's a Window over Terra Haute, and every time I went to Indy I tried to get that phrase in. The best was when I went with DJL and we met a sports guy we knew and it was pouring outside. Sports guy mentions they are going back to Toledo because of the rain. "Well, I heard there was a window over Terra Haute." I thought DJL was going to choke on his sandwich.

12:08 First mention about three women racing

12:16 ABC just asked Micheal Andretti if this is his last race. I hate athletes that will not retire in a timely fashion. Don't retire, come back and say this is my last time and then come back a year later... leave it!

12:18 Second mention about three women into days field.

12:23 Hey did you know there are three women in today's race? They just interviewed Mila Duno, she's hot, smart (4 freaking masters) and I have no idea what she said. I think it may have been Charo.

Sarah Fisher pops up. From past experience I never liked her. She was always stand-offish and not friendly to the media. She left and how, she has done a 180. I've heard she can race, but never had the sponsors backing and that was her down fall. Hopefully she can now do well.

12:25 OK I get it Danica is big. I am not a fan. She has Sarah syndrome, she is a bad interview, very hard to get a solid answer from her. For a woman she is very monotone and puts you to sleep. I think the early part of this year she showed her true colors with the rants and team fights. Team Green is finding out how Diva she is. Everyone is hyping her to win. I'm thinking DNF or 15 at best.





12:40 Who the hell is this clown singing? Stop it! IT sounds like a cat in heat. One note about the race, Tony Kannan seems loose as hell. I"m putting Tony in my top five right now.


12:53 Once again Jeremy Irons... I'll admit, he has an awesome voice. That is not the main reason for an update. Here are my top drivers of the day I'm going with Sam Hornish, Helio Castronevas, Tony Kanaan, Dan Wheldon and Scott Dixon. I know I'm not that bold with these picks, but hey who am I going to pick A.J. Quatro?

1:05 Ladies and Gentlemen, START YOUR ENGINES! I am geeked and ready for the race... no more Musburger!

Secondary note, why is Patrick Dempsey in the pace car.... Bad news, Helio's car won't start not a good sign, but it's early and he can still get the pole... WHAT A wing problem? Crap... he's done.

1:11 Al Unser Jr is still racing? Why? Your a legend... give it up. Wow I'm bitter today, not a good sign for this post... happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

1:12 We are green!

1:21 First caution of the day. John Andretti lost a mirror, how do you loose a mirror? Your going 220MPH and oops, you lose a mirror. I guess he might have to find some super glue.


1:31 HAVOC!!! We have a pit crew down, we have a pit crew down. Quatro's right rear tire guy got clipped by another car. Now the team is scrambling for a tire guy, I say find this guy.

1:39 Sarah Fisher is having some problems and is next to last. Milka is 27th and Danica is 11th.

1:42 CRASH! We ave lost our first car Roberto Moreno smacked the wall. I have no idea who this guy is. If I was a betting man I lost my first; I thought Quatro would be first to crash. Which brings me to the best Quatro moment. Last Year he was sucking ass all day, when A.J. Foyt tells him "If all your going to do is jack around then get in here." Man! your grandfather called you out!

1:47 Well last time I checked it's a bad thing when your car can not take in gas. Helio could not get gas into his car. He finally got gas in there, but is now in 29th. Then Wheldon and Kannan almost hit in the pits. I"m starting to jinks these guys.

1:50 I can't tell... is Godaddy.com a race sponsor? I need someone to go out and find this for me. If they are, they need some commercials or something... I know maybe a racer maybe a female racer... that would rock! You better get on this Godaddy.com

1:53 Marco Andretti is leading the race. This kid can race I hope he does well, but I didn't pick him so I'm a little mixed. Also this will be the only time Marty Roth can say I am beating Hellio Castroneves.

1:56 You know what this race needs, more lead changes. I mean come on we have had more lead changes in this race than at least 29th other races at their finish... come on guys make it interesting.

11:58 CRASH #2!! It's another shlub John Herb. This was his second 500 and guess what he did in the previous race... you guessed it, crashed.

2:02 Note to Davey Hamilton's crew... righty tighty leftie loosie.

2:13 CRASH #3! Milka Duno is the hottest crash of the day. One lady down, we have two left. I hope they get the post crash interview. I want to see if she actually is Charo

2:19 During the caution and ensuing pit stops, Dan Wheldon jumped 4 spots and is now in first. I can't believe there are this many changes. One interesting sub plot today is the weather. The window over Terra Haute is supposedly closing according to Tony Kanaan's crew, but others think it will hold off till 4.

2:23 12th lead change and a new driver up front and it is Mr Ashly Judd. I will destroy him and be the new Mr Ashley Judd, well if The Wife doesn't mind. Does Utah still have polygamy?

2:28 OK Roger Penske used the old fashion weather check. He sent an airplane out to find it. The race may be in danger and we are 30 laps from making the race official (110). Thigns could get squirrelly out there if everyone is going to try and get to the lead before the rain hits.

2:31 NO NOT SAMMY! Sam Hornish rubbed against Tomas Sheckter. this is not good for my picks. current leading order


  1. Mr Ashly Judd
  2. Scott Dixon
  3. Big Andretti
  4. Scott Sharp
  5. Little Andretti

2:34 SCORE! It is official Milka Duno is the new Charo. All I heard was down force and 22nd and that's it

2:40 CRASH #4 John Andretti with his taped on mirror is now out. It was jsut mentioned he was away from the 500 for 13 years. Something tells me that might be a little to long to be away. The Andretti curse is still alive.

2:46 The race is official and your race leader... Jeff Simmons? Yes Jeff Simmons, so far his claim to fame in racing is being the replacement driver after Paul Dana died in a crash.

2:51 I'll rank Team Andretti Green members on how much I prefer them to win:

  1. Tony Kanaan (deserves it)
  2. Marco Andretti (could be the futureof Indy)
  3. Micheal Andretti (Old guy who has never one it)
  4. Danica Patrick (Personal vendetta)

2:53 CRASH #5 Shlub Phil Giebler just messed this race up, but one good thing did happen. Tony Kanaan is in first place and rain is 10 minutes out.





2:58 Personal dark horse of the race is Ben Stiller I mean Vitor Meira (currently 4th). This guy is Mr #2 in Indy racing, he has never won but has been second numerous times. Look at him... he looks like Ben Stiller and he's a nice guy

3:02 Crap! We have rain and the red flag is out and this sucks, but the good thing is Tony Kanaan would win the race. The radar that I see looks like it will rain for another half hour, so I am going to the driving range. Hopefully I will be back before it is called.

6:15pm The race has restarted, I'm in the middle of cleaning a fish tank and talking to The Wife, so the updates are not happening as fast as I like.

6:16 How good is Team Penske? Sam Hornish had problems and was 19th at one point in time and Helio Castroneves was 25th. Helio is now 5th and Sam 6th.

6:22 How is Jacque Lazier and Darren Manning in the lead? This has become a kind of bizzaro Indy 500

6:26 Rain, rain go away. They are saying 15 minutes till the rain hits... Stupid Midwestern weather

FYI it's now Tony Kanaan and Sam Hornish 1 and 2.

6:28 CRASH #6 It's Richie Rich Marty Roth, he is a shlub, but a rich one. He sponsors his own team and only can afford the Indy 500. I wish I had that much money to throw away.

6:33 Stupid Marty Roth, you cost us at least 10 laps. If it rains and we are 20 laps or more over I'm coming to your house buddy.

6:36 Pit stop time, probably for the last time in the race and lets see who is in the top 5

  1. Mr. Ashley Judd
  2. Scott Dixon
  3. Ryan Brisco County Jr
  4. Scott Sharp
  5. Tony Kanaan

6:37 CRASH #7 A Restart accident involving Tony Kanaan. I beating he is done, he can't win he is now in 17th place, all thanks to Buddy Lazier.

6:43 current standing of my top 5:

2. Scott Dixon

6. Sam Hornish

9. Helio Castroneves

12. Dan Wheldon

17. Tony Kanaan

6:45 CRASH #8 UPSIDE DOWN MARCO ANDRETTI! Wow that was cool, he also took out Buddy Rice. The curse rears it's ugly head and another year with out an Andretti win. Dan Wheldon also seemed to get tapped and is in the pits getting repairs. Marco seems to be to be a little dazed and is asking the crash crew, "which way did he go George, which way did he go."

6:50 They just showed the camera from Marco's car, that was a sweet crash

6:51 It's raining and they are talking to Ashley Judd, who needs not to talk. Just be pretty.

Your winner of the 91st Indianapolis 500 is Mr Ashley Judd Dario "the gentleman" Franchitti

Here is the top 10:

  1. Mr Ashley Judd
  2. Scott Dixon
  3. Ryan Brisco County Jr
  4. Schott Sharp
  5. Sam Hornish
  6. Davey "Righty Tighty" Hamilton
  7. Danica Patrick
  8. Helio Castroneves
  9. Tomas Sheckter
  10. Dan Wheldon

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