Saturday, April 21, 2007

You Say connoisseur I Say Wino

This weekend we have our first guest since we have moved to North Carolina. My sister and her husband are doing an east coast family trip and we were first leg of the trip that will lead them to Florida. Since The Wife and I really don't do that much we were scrambling for things to do. The Wife and I saw and ad for the Great Grapes, Wine, Arts and Food Festival, we just found out that my sister likes wine and thought it would be a good couple of hours. It started out fine, but I had one HUGE problem with the event. I shall call them wine sobs, I'm not talking Miles Raymond type people, because I would have enjoyed that... possibly. I'm talking about people who want to seem hip and cool and think wine is the way to impress people.

It was interesting to watch them at first. They gathered in packs and moved around the wine booths sampling each wine and making annoying comments that only other snobs would know. Then they would call each wine by either a nickname or abbreviate the name. "Have you tried the Cab Sav (Cabernet Sauvignon)? It has good color, but the taste lingers too long. Excuse me can I have another taste of the Cab Sav?" At times they were getting rude I actually heard this comment.

Lady wine snob: "don't go to Wine B, they suck ass.
Lady wine snob" (directed towards me): Did you hear that?
Me: Oh yeah
Lady: Oh, (back to her phone) I told them to their face that their wine sucks ass.

Every booth I tried to go too I would get shoved out the way for friends of wine snobs, "Hey bill you have to try the sunset. No come here." The next thing you know seven people just push me out of the way. The other incident involved a pack of not so attractive college girls and their flirting with the pourer. They kept telling him that they wanted more to drink, but they were big buyers and they wanted more "cab sav." By this time every time I heard cab sav, it made me want to punch them in the face. Some how I was ready to order a bottle of wine The Wife like and they move in front and order 5 bottles. I know the guy was just trying to make a sale, so I don't blame him, the wine snobs only cared for their little sips of wine, how they can get more and figure out a way to make them sound smart to other wine snobs.

I like a little wine, I have no idea what to look for. All I know is if it taste good, well I might by it. I don't care for the color and all that. Truthfully I'd rather have a glass of Smithwick beer instead. Once we got away from the snobs and drunk college kids it was a nice event, decent music, good North Carolina BBQ, and wonderful weather I finally got into a groove and had a good time... I guess too good of a time, just call me a wino.


dcz said...

How tempted were you to put your wine in a brown paper bag and drink it that way?

Fact: 99% of people who drink wine don't know the first thing about it. They rent Sideways and take their cues from that.

J Dog said...

When they sell you the bottles it came in paper bags! That was one of my favorite moments not mentioned in the blog.

That hit it on the nose... stupid wine snobs!

Anonymous said...

thanks for not letting them know i was feeling no pain that afternoon.