Wait, Did I Miss a Couple of Months

Due to the fact that The Wife likes to sleep in sub-Arctic temperatures, I have a hard time figuring out what it feels like outside. Well I open the door and was punched in the face and gut by mother nature. Today the Triangle hit a new record high of 100 degrees. Holy mother of crap is that warm, and a month or so too early. I was almost OK with it getting that hot in late July and August, but in early June this is unacceptable. I shouldn't have to feel like taking a shower when I go to get into the car. Then everything in the car is a billion degrees and causing third degree burns on my hands and ass. Something needs to be done, stupid Al Gore and his global warming. Why can't we make him stop it or something!