Well last night was my "last night" as a "free man." So of course I had a bachelor party and I believe we had a good time. The night started with my older brother, Shorty (best man), Wilson (grooms man) and my 23 year old nephew.
Around 9:00 we got to Claddaghs Irish pub where we had a few brews and watched the Cavs lose to the Pistons. My brother, from outside Detroit, was hitting on a server who was cheering for the cavs and bet her five the Cavs would lose. He won, she kept the money and that was that.
By 10:30 nobody from work showed and I mean nobody! So I'm getting a little depressed, but then I hear. "Let's go to a tah-tah bar." So we head out to Dockside Dolls a "gentleman's" establishment you know guys in top hats and monocles like this guy, but we get there and there are woman with out shirts on! This not what we wanted! Out rage! Out ra... Well hello there nice lady. Would like a dollar? As one of my old sports guys Sean would say "I love boobies." and who doesn't.
So We are there enjoying the festivities and I notice my brother it "talking" to the waitress WAY too much and then a guy in a vest, this can not be good. I later here the DJ say "I hear we have a bachelor party in the house to night, J-Dog get on that stage." CRAP! So of course two ladies and I shake hands, talk about the weather and all that "other stuff that happens on stage." Then I hear Jeremy get on all fours. Rut row Shaggy. Who has a belt we need two of them. You can figure out what happens next, I'm being whipped like a dog owned by a hillbilly. One girl I swear hit me with the buckle on the same spot FOUR TIMES. Then I have a 90 lb stripper on my back and I'm crawling on the stage.
"OK Jeremy now it's time for the girls turn for a dance." Wrong move MR. DJ I"m full of Smithwicks and Killians so I'm ready to dance. I do all the top stripper moves and they are laughing there half naked asses off. I actually get a dollar from another stripper that's how good it was. The bachelor party's favorite moment is when I do the breast wiggle in there faces.
Besides that and a few "conversations on a couch" nothing much happened else happened at the club. So Shorty takes me home and that's where the problem starts. I can't find my house keys. I had left them in my car and the only one with a key is "the future wife." She is not happy with the 1:30am I need keys drunk call. Shorty drives me over I get a key and get into bed.
Over all I'd say this was a good night.
4 comments:
The funny part is that was the G rated description of the evening's events. And to all the family members that want to know what really happend... just remember I am cheap and easy.
JB- Really sorry about not making the party but I was (as usual) poor and tired. The wedding however was great and I'm glad you invited me. Why don't we just have another bachelor party at some point? Married people can renew their vows right? I don't see why the same can't be done with a bachelor party. (married guys all over the world just look down and shake their heads at this)
Dude no one even told me about the bachelor party.
There is one image indelibly burnt into my mind that will last for all time. And that is of Jeremy dancing for the girls on stage.
Sweet mother of Ghod, I will never forget that.
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