Is it Me?

I don't know why, but I've always have felt like people don't like me. I think it's something from childhood, but it drives me crazy. Why do I obsess over this, I know there are people who like me, but why can't I get this through my head.

Earlier in the week someone at work told me that there will be a group doing karaoke at a local watering hole. I was excited, I haven't been asked to go out that often, plus it was karaoke, I enjoy karaoke, but not for the same reasons as most. I like doing spoken word renditions of popular songs or I act like a total idiot and go all "rock star."

Yesterday started out bad and kept getting worse. In news you get days like this and there is nothing you can do, but bend over and take it. It's cold so we had to do the obligatory it's cold outside story, we drove to Durham and shot half and then finished the rest in downtown Raleigh. Then a spot news story popped up and we had to drop everything and go on a story that happened three hours earlier. We barely get everything done, but the viewer at home did not notice any problems.

While all that was going on I kept getting a feeling that karaoke was not going to happen. I mention the outing to The Serg and he didn't know anything about it, that made me think even more that it was a bad idea to go. I had to make myself want to go, I'm just being paranoid and everything will be fine. I get out of work and head over to the watering hole. I walk in and do not see anyone I know... this is not looking good. after a extensive search I finally find two coworkers, but come to find out they do not know about this karaoke night, they just happened to be there. No one ever showed up.

I stayed and talked to the guys till they left and I followed a few seconds later. I'm now a little upset about the night, there has to be a reason nobody showed up, they probably just forgot to tell me. Something in my head keeps telling me they did it on purpose, to make me look like an idiot. Why do I do this to myself, I know I'll fret over this for a week... stupid mind.