Not the Donuts!

As I am still on the DL, I was forced onto the morning show this past Friday and I found one story disturbing; Krispy Kreme donuts if filing for bankruptcy. I will admit I am a fan of the deep fried pastry and I do enjoy a good KK glazed. The best thing about Krispy Kreme is the fact they have a sign on the front of the building letting people know that the donuts are HOT NOW. Getting a donut straight off the conveyor belt is nirvana! It's hot, gooey, and melts in your mouth.

The first time I ever had Krispy Kreme was when I was a rookie in Toledo, I'm not talking about the donuts that you find in gas stations. Yes those are Krispy Kreme, but they are shipped and I think they lose something. I'm talking about the actual store, we were doing a live shot at the nearby movie theater. The engineer and I were hungry and he wanted coffee, we enter and I hear the greatest phrase known to the English language. "Good morning, would you like a donut." I look around to Matt the engineer, "What do you mean... free." I ask hoping so. "Yes, the first is on us." HELL YEAH, it's a free donut. We proceed to eat our free donut and order a couple more donuts and some coffee. I seriously think they put a chemical in donuts that make you crave it fortnightly. I then noticed something none donut in a glass case. At the time I thought it was the coolest hat known to man, it was a green hat with a red circle with the classic KK logo. I bought one and wore it for years. I actually cracked it out the other day just for nostalgia.

So when I heard the sweet provider of lard and increasing waste lines was filing I was crushed. Even though bankruptcy for a company is different than it is for you and I, it is still a bad sign. If they go under then where will I be able to find piping hot donuts at anytime of the day? I also still have not full filled my greatest fantasy, to lick the conveyor belt of it's sweet sweet glaze. I know that will probably kill me, but hell it would be worth it.

It's Not Fat, Just Big Boned Tuesday

Today is Fat Tuesday and for certain people that means time to flash your breast for some plastic beads or as it's called Mardi Gras. This is just not a day for drinking like St Patrick's Day, 4th of July, Memorial Day and Thursday. For the Catholics' tomorrow starts Lent, the 40 days before Easter. The reason I am writing this post is that while I lived in Toledo I learned of an evil yet great piece of food known as the paczki (poon-shke). It's basically an evil donut. If you want read the Wikipedia page, but the boiled down story is that for Lent you needed to get rid of all things tasty and the Polish people didn't want the tasty goodness to go to waste so they put it all in their donuts. It's double the sugar, fat, lard, crack, cream and anything else. I believe they have the fat and calorie content as one and a half Big Macs, not .5 I mean 1.5. That's the fat and calorie intake for a month.

Knowing that these things are bad for you, you know they are AWESOME! The first time I had paczki I was at my first station and someone thought it would be a great idea to have a paczki eating contest with our weather guy and a local radio host. We some how got ten dozen paczki so they were just laying around. I ate one, about an hour later, I ate a second one. It was time for me to leave work and I started feeling a little woozy. I can my mom and tell her that I'm getting dizzy, but I'm not suffering from sinus problems. I then tell her what I ate and what was in them. "JEREMY, YOU HAD TOO MUCH SUGAR, DON'T GO TO SLEEP, YOU COULD GO INTO A SUGAR COMA." That may not be the exact phrasing, but the sugar was making me see things. She had me go walk and drink I think a gallon of water. It was a near ugly ending to a pastry goodness day. So if you can go out and find a paczki and feel the 8 pounds you are adding on. Love live the paczki!